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FHM PHILIPPINES JANUARY 2016 PDF

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Fhm Philippines January 2016 Pdf

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Jennylyn Mercado – FHM Philippines Magazine (January 2016)

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March 8, Problema ng bahay, problemang may asawa. Walang problema, lahat nakakatawa. And to be completely funny, you should be… Para maging nakakatawa ka, kailangan nakakatawa ka. Wag ka magpapatawa ng pilit. Kasi naniniwala ako na ang comedy hindi pilit. May joke na pang beki na hindi ko pwede bitawan. Alangan naman sabihin twitter. So is it harder to make people laugh as a straight male, than it is for gay comedians? Oo, mas mahirap magpatawa ang lalaki—kasi ang beki maluwag sila magpatawa.

Hindi tulad kaming mga lalaki, pag nagpatawa ka tapos nasaktan yung lalaki baka magsuntukan kayo. Yung isang beki na nagso-show, na papansinin na may magsyota at yung lalaki hindi naman kagwapuhan tulad ko—nilalaglag nila yung lalaki. Akala mo gwapo ka! Katulad mo, boss. Ang swerte mo! Tuluyan mo na yan. And what makes Long humor different from your male contemporaries?

Ang Long na humor sa akin—sana nga mahilera ako sa mga tulad nila—mini-mix ko yung mga idol kong sina Dolphy, Chiquito, Apeng Daldal. Para akong nagtitimpla ng juice. Magmi-mix din ako ng konting Dennis Padilla, konting beki, lalagyan ko ng konting gandang lalaki ni Luis Manzano.

Pag pinagsama-sama mo yun, patakan mo pa ng konting Eddie Garcia, patakan mo pa ng Joey Marquez, pagkatapos ng timplahan, ilagay mo sa baso ng Randy Santiago, samahan mo ng kaunting Tito, Vic, and Joey, yun na yun.

Kinder pa lang nagpapatawa na ako. Sa classroom. Palagi akong na-pe-face the wall. Uso yun nung araw pag maharot ka. Eh during that time, my dad [Dencio Padilla], was popular because he was the sidekick of Fernando Poe, Jr. So my teachers, and the security guards would say: Pero yung kaharutan ko, through experience and dahil sa pakikisalamuha ko sa iba pang beteranong artista, na po-polish siya.

At which point were you sure you were starting to get recognized as Dennis Padilla facebook. Dun ko nalaman. Kasi mararamdaman mo pag yung ka-eksena mo, and even Randy Santiago—siya yung nagbigay ng break sa akin sa noontime show na yun—natatawa siya. And then nagkataon na one of the main hosts, nawala. So from being a skit player, inakyat ako to replace one of the hosts. Dun ko napatunayan yung sarili ko. Lunch Date eventually became Salo-Salo Together.

Tapos yun na, from hosting, I got one after another, yung pinakasikat was Kool Ka Lang. And you also did a lot of sidekick roles. Is there more freedom in doing comedy as a sidekick vs comedy as bida? Well, yes and no. Ang responsibility kasi ng sidekick kailangan maging comic relief ka talaga to begin with. Sometimes pag masyadong bloody yung action scene, kapag nilagyan mo ng comedy sa dulo na-didissolve yung morbidness. So sa mga action movies, andun talaga sa sidekick yung task na magpatawa para gumaan yung eksena.

Pero at the same time, kung natural comedian ka naman, mapabida or sidekick, madali lang magpatawa. Yes, actually. Kasi ang attention span ng tao ngayon, seconds na lang. Nung araw kasi minutes pa.

But because of modern technology: Kaya kailangan ngayon pag bumato ka twitter. Hindi tulad dati yung establishing ng comedy: Saka pa lang bibitaw ng punch. Ngayon 1, 2, 3. Ganun na comedy ngayon. Tak, tak, tak. Kaya nga nauso yung mga pickup lines, kasi within three or four seconds kailangan naibato mo na yung punchline. Kaya ako nagiisip din ako ng bagong ibabato ko. Pero pag binibitawan ko naman, I can get away with it. Tapos yung mga pickup line na: Besides timing and delivery, what makes an effective comedian?

You have to respect yung kaeksena mo. Itanong mo muna sa kanya. Hindi eh. Bad boy, oo. Pero hanggang pilyo lang ako—pagkaone point na lang bastos na, I stop. Kumbaga kung may axe, inaakma ko lang yung taga, pero di ko siya isusugat.

Kasi yung ibang comedian nakakasugat na siya. Yung joke ko hanggang amba lang. Bago ka masugatan, I stop, I begin with another joke. FHM www. A little massage and rub go a long way read: Heed her requests in bed, if you want her to oblige yours. Less clothes, less hassle. Sometimes, she appreciates these simple gestures more than sex itself. No matter how much at ease you are with each other. If you want your partner shaved and clean down there, keep in mind that she expects the same from you.

Though majority of men prefer a caveman approach when it comes to their bush. Take the initiative. Be the first one to caress, to impress. Checking the time is a no-no. Pwedeng umihi muna rito. The less filled your bladder is, the lower the chances of an unwanted timeout during the main event. No playing Hayden cam, unless both of you are okay with it. Hers actually cost as much as three of your favorite boxers combined.

Pizza or a bucket of chicken, maybe? Two bottles or shots to set it up is just enough. It will make her feel like a hit-and-run victim if you do. Relish being au naturel for the moment. No room for long and obviously, dirty fingernails if flicking the bean is part of your plan.

Your excessive sucking might mean days of inconvenience for your partner if the love bite is not thoughtfully placed. Your bedroom is a reflection of your personality.

Make sure the room is tidy, the sheets are clean, and overall, it smells bagong-laba, before inviting her over. Doing it at her place, especially if she still lives with the folks, requires being superhero-esque: Man Not man Not man Not man If the world were to end tomorrow, what would your last meal be?

Potato au Gratin, roast beef with caramelized onions, strawberry milkshake, Chicken Kiev, gelato. Not man 4 4 Not man If you could blow up one thing, what would it be? All the firearms in the world. Tibay , ser. Spider-man, FTW! Man 4 Not man Have you ever sniffed used underwear? Ah, the pleasure it gives!

I smell my own, mind you. Man 4 Not man 4 What fictional villain scares you the most? Have you ever seen 20 Days of Night? That shit is scary! Type Ko Girlfriend Mo. I mean, I looked wimpier before. Man 4 4 Have you ever taken secret selfies? Best ever—Prozac. I miss him. See you soon, bud. Have you ever farted openly in public? Man 4 Not man Which romantic comedy makes you feel giddy inside?

More than giddy, it makes me hopeful for love—50 First Dates. Many times. Three days. Are you a car enthusiast? I drive a Honda Civic, but I only know basic car maintenance. Car shows are just fun. Iba yung vibe to have all these car geeks around you. They are very passionate and intense. Siguro more girls are just less technical when it comes to cars. But ironically, more girls are impressed by nice cars—agree?

Well, that could be true for most of us. You remarked how gravure-like the photos turned out… Everything just feels comfortable. The styling and the whole concept are laidback yet sexy. I love it!

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I hope you bring back your gravure specials, though. If we do, we promise to let you know. How in touch are you with your Japanese roots?

I was born in Yokohama, Japan. Of course, Japanese household manners are still practiced in our family. You sure know how to show your nice side, but we hear Japanese girls have a naughty alter ego in the bedroom. Is it true? When my naughty side kicks in, oh boy, you must behave and obey my rules, ha ha! How naughty or nice can you get? Being comfortable is the sexiest and naughtiest you can be with you partner. Spoil her.

Mabilis kaming kiligin. Also, always surprise her. I have a thing for being mabango and hairless, ha ha! I like eating out. I also love road trips. FH M facebook. And what convinced you to do it? What I did was ask my mentors for advice.

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I researched and asked around to make sure of what to expect with a shoot like this— and learned that entering this comes with a lot of responsibilities to carry. Maintaining a sexy body and healthy lifestyle must come first now, ha ha! It also took me a lot of time to boost my confidence and self esteem. You said you thought you had nothing to show but we really disagree with that. Two obvious reasons are in front of us right now… Ha ha! Minsan kasi dinadaga yung dibdib ko— malaki lang talaga siya pero duwag.

But it just came to a point that where I asked myself: Why not take the break? Especially since you believe that modeling is not forever Yes, we all know modeling is not a lifetime career for We all know modeling is not a lifetime career for most—we all need a backup!

I started as a dancer on Wowowillie, but, ever since college, my dream was really to travel the world. I started as a dancer on Wowowillie, but. Yes, because I put it on my real life bucket list too. I just love to travel and another one of my goals is to bring my family too. Repeat the life out of them, because no one can really say that daily joggers are sloppier than wearing the same beater pair of denims. In fact, a cozy twitter. Uber your way to a hotspot to free yourself from the tyranny of parking.

Bounce over to a different spot on foot and repeat. Because Michiko Magno has an aura of innocence surrounding her petite frame, which made it so fun getting to know her and getting a glimpse of her naughtier and sexier side that she only shows to a few lucky gentlemen.

Have you ever been to Japan or Korea? Yes, with my family. Laking Marikina po ako. You look really young. Are you still in school? What do you like about modeling? I want to be famous, especially in the magazine industry, ha ha!

So how did it feel to finally get to pose for us? A lot of people will get to see the feature, including my ex, ha ha! Oh, do we sense a bit of bitterness? Not really.

Have you changed a lot from the way you before? But now, I think yung pagpapaganda at pagpapa-sexy na ang nasa isip ko. We bet you have a pretty big Quickfire Round Sashimi or Galunggong? Galunggong Dirty or Clean? Clean Lights on or Lights off? Lights off Brain or Heart? There are some but as of now, hindi pa ako interesado. Kumbaga, I enjoy being single for now.

Dati kasi sobrang nakatali ako. So how are you enjoying being single? Simple lang, kasama ko lang yung mga friends ko araw-araw. Gala rito, gala roon, pa-food trip-food trip, tamang enjoy lang, ha ha. That seems to be the thread with girls after breakups, nowadays. Minsan dun mo lang mapapansin yung mga kailangan mong baguhin sa sarili mo, so take your time. What do you like best about the Japanese culture?

I really like their food. Yeah, the weather there would be great for cuddling. Do you think that makes Japanese women are more malambing? Yeah, the way Japanese talk is very malambing and sweet; nakatutuwa silang pakinggan! Oh, like porn? Yeah, ha ha! I think I saw some a while back, when I was 18 or so with some friends, ha ha! Especially the way they emote, yung umiiyak-iyak pa, nakaka-horny! Oh well, by any chance are you the same in bed?

Actually yes, especially when I get a bit drunk! And how do men react when you get, um, emotional?

Well, siyempre todo bigay at nakikisabay rin sila sa akin, ha ha! Do you like it rough? Oo, sobra! I really like to lick his ears and pinch his body all over. And I want my guy to pull my hair and tell me masarap ako, ha ha! The cilantro salsa will add flavor sans excess calories. Fiber-rich and baked, these are perfect for energy-boosters. It may sound a bit girly but Diet Diva just launched their Lean Machine program—a protein-rich diet meal plan prepared for men who work out.

It tastes so good, it's like you're not even dieting," Diet Diva founder, Kakki Teodoro says. Metro Manila, with additional charge in nearby areas Dessert Kiwi raspberry yogurt with dark chocolate maple granola Fresh fruit, high-protein yogurt with added fiber, and a punch of maple granola sweetener, this snack will help repair muscle tissues and restore blood sugar levels after a workout.

Morning snack Squash pancakes Made from only two ingredients: Lunch Lean beef karekare LUNCH The beef serves as the main component, which is a high source of protein, cooked with ground peanuts, yogurt, and vegetables such as pechay, sitaw, and okra.

This is often matched with brown or corn rice. Served with brown or corn rice. Everyone is becoming health conscious. It is paired with their all-natural, dairy-free, vitamin-filled pesto and salad. The dish is served with grilled pineapple—high in antioxidants—and paprika-spiced yucca—a starchy tuber that is rich in vitamin C, dietary fiber, folate, and potassium.

And did we mention that Paleo doesn't count calories? Yup, they just limit the serving sizes of the food, which is awesome for us heavy eaters. Metro Manila, Rizal, until Laguna BREAKFAST Breakfast Grilled chicken with cranberry cream sauce sandwich The chicken breast compliments the sweet and tangy flavor of the sauce and the fresh vegetables add the crunch and texture needed to complete this hearty, healthy sandwich.

Morning snack brownies These baked brownies in semisweet chocolates will give you a kick of energy in the morning Lunch Lemon rosemary fish fillet with red rice LUNCH The fish is baked then smothered in a zesty lemon rosemary sauce, matched with red rice to fill enough carbs needed for the day. Dinner Afternoon snack Pork sinigang, a popular Filipino dish, often comes in soup form.

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A popular snack for health buffs, yogurt is a good source of bone-building calcium and powerboosting protein. When I was in college, I was a fan of local bands like Wolfgang and Slapshock, among others, and I used to go to all of their gigs—now, I'm the one organizing and promoting these events.

By word-of-mouth, Rakista. Rakista Radio was just a feature we added to the forum in But then I saw that there was a demand for online radio, especially among overseas Filipino workers who miss Original Pinoy Music.

When I started, I only really knew about web and software development. I didn't really know anything about handling bands and organizing events, but these are things I learned from the bands I've worked with over the years. With Rakista Radio, it's not like you'd just listen to music, it's interactive—you can make song requests, dedications, and even chat with people through the app. Organizing gigs can be risky since there's a lot of expenses, but we still earn a lot from ticket sales since there's already thousands of attendees, especially for the Rakrakan Festival.

I can say that ads are still our lifeblood—we have partners who advertise in the website and in Rakista Radio. But we also earn by doing other services like web development and social media management for bands and other clients. Social media helps, as long as you post informative and engaging content, as opposed to just promoting your product.

Rakista has more than , followers on Facebook, facebook. We take care of both the bands and our listeners. We might promote local indie bands, but we also make sure that their stuff is of good quality for our listeners—even if it's just a home recording, as long as it's of good quality, we'll play it. It's far from the sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll lifestyle people imagine. If I were a famous musician, maybe I can get away with it, but I'm actually running a business here.

If you're passionate with rock, then you'll continue to rock. I've met a lot of great bands over the years which didn't really make it, or didn't have any money, but they still kept on rocking because of their passion for the music.

Well, this was back in So I took that opportunity, developed the website, and that's how our online music community Rakista. No longer will you have any need for walis. Score for: With 6 to 10TB of storage working at 7, RPM that cuts out the time it takes to transfer large videos, photos, and audio files. The GyroFlex 2D contour tech adjusts to slide on the surface of your face. Tap washable and charges an hour for every minute of cordless use.

But you get to pick from 10 airflow settings. The P1 can even charge up other phones from its bountiful energy reserves and get it all back quickly with a 24W quick-charge function. Try not to drop it during the festivities! Time to work. Hovertrax 2 wheel self balance electric scooter Essentially a more affordable Segway without the balancing handles, but officially, a self-balancing scooter. A capsule every meal controls appetite and speeds up metabolism.

Comes with built-in Bluetooth speakers so you can draw attention to yourself while rolling obnoxiously by. Best ridden with a helmet.

With a turbo car, you get more power sooner, and the passing move becomes less sketchy. Mash the gas—especially for smaller matipid engines with 1.

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Big honking engines, like the 5. In this case, the PS and Nm of torque from its 1. Then they will buy a car. And Blackberry? They released a new Android phone. Still out, sorry. Think again: Apple sold 13 million units of the iPhone 6S in its first three days of sale, breaking all kinds of records. Everything is about mobile phones nowadays, and the entire tech world is moving in that direction. Cloud services are becoming more popular. Apps are multiplying like rabbits.

Websites are becoming mobile-friendly. With smart phones getting bigger and bigger, consumers see little sense in buying a phone and a tablet when they basically do the same thing. Laptops will be interesting in for one reason: Gaming company Razer did it first with their Blade laptop.

Then Microsoft showed everyone how to do it with the Surface Book. Gaming consoles still have some life in them, but experts say this could be the last generation of boxes known as gaming consoles. Or playing on your phone. The Wii U? Now everyone is looking for what else they can give the Uber treatment. Would it work for yaya services Yuber? How about for plumbers tUber-o? But it goes further than that. Millennials have been reported to often forego buying a house or a car. Why buy a car when you can Uber?

Why buy a house when you can rent and travel the world? Why buy a vacation home when you can Airbnb? Now downloads are on the way out and streaming services are in. You can stream movies, TV shows, pornography, and even video games. Did we mention pornography?

Hey, at least someone is trying to get into your underwear. With Netflix, and local alternative iFlix, cutting your expensive cable connection looks pretty darn attractive. Netflix has begun to produce its own content Daredevil is one of the more successful shows and there are no signs they're stopping. Plus, cable TV never really caught on in the Philippines, so wawa naman them. Tech companies everywhere are trying to crack the problem facebook.

Everyone wants to make it, but no one is buying it. And Apple Watch sales have been successful enough to warrant an update to the device, but right now wearable tech looks very much like an expensive experiment. Apple has been uncharacteristically secretive about actual Apple Watch sales numbers.

And everyone knows what happened to Google Glass —it went the way of the Segway. After some singing and drinking, the alcohol finally started to kick in.Premium Baseball Jersey. Dubbed as the new sharing economy, these In the last quarter of , the Department online sharing services are bypassing the rules of entrepreneurship, ownership, and even government of Tourism recorded almost , tourists policies by placing the power directly on the ones doing business and using the service through the arriving in the Philippines, with Koreans being power of smartphone technology.

How did your life change when you won the Best Actress award for English Only. Fellow dudes discovering the artistic treasure would likely cause him to implode in embarrassment, but if you happen to be a girl he likes, then romantic dude may reluctantly share them with you. Apolipoprotein E Apoe -deficient knockout mice were used to test the hypothesis that mutant mice preserved as evaporatively dried ED spermatozoa, stored at K80 8C for 6 months, and then recovered by ICSI will exhibit the same phenotype as before preservation.

Kasi kasama ko si Dagul dun sa show, ang dapat talagang pangalan ni Dagul—Short.

ELAINE from Naperville
Review my other posts. I have only one hobby: haggis hurling. I love reading comics knavishly.